Friday, February 17, 2006

Please Stop Trying to Turn Everything into a Fucking Multimedia Centre

So, apparently the DS will be getting all kinds of new functionality, even beyond what I mentioned in my previous post. Everyone else one seems to be quite excited about it all-- needless to say, I am not. I don't own a PSP. The reason I don't own a PSP is not because it's library is unappealing (which it is, aside from a few RPGs that intrigue me), or because I can't afford it, but rather because I don't want a fucking portable multimedia centre (nor do I really want a portable video game system either, but as I stated a few posts ago, they lend themselves to the genres and technologies that I enjoy). Fortunately, unlike the PSP, none of this stuff comes built-in, so I don't have to waste my money on functionality that I'll never make use of. I just don't see the appeal that everyone else apparently does. I don't want my fucking game systems to show movies and let me make phone calls and give me blow jobs-- I want them to PLAY GAMES. If I want to watch a movie, I'll watch it on a DVD player. If I want to make a phone call, I'll use the goddamn telephone hanging on my wall (don't even get me started on cell phones). If I want a blow job, I'll... cry myself to sleep?

Anyway, the point is, I like my functionality spread across a number of discrete devices, and I want that functionality to remain at home. If I want to ignore people rudely while I'm outside of the house, I'll do it the good old-fashioned way-- I'll flip them off and then leave. And, with regard to this trend towards consolidating technologies into multi-purpose devices: the day that I can watch movies and call people on my toaster is the day that I finally go postal. I'll probably beat people to death with said toaster, just to be poetic. I'll bet that their last words will be something along the lines of "Why didn't... you get... the ToastPro 3000? It has... a built-in camera..."

There is some good news though. Apparently the PSP's idiotic proprietary movie format is in trouble, which anyone who didn't work for Sony could see coming a mile away.

Also, on a less infuriating note:
Arrested Development's finale last Friday was masterful. Brilliant. Hilarious. Two of the best hours of TV that I've ever watched. I'm sorry to see it end, but it couldn't have possibly ended on a higher note. Every one of you who didn't watch it is poorer for not having done so, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Craig said...

I couldn't agree more. One of the reasons (I believe...) the GCN was less expensive and compact than its contemporaries was the lack of frills (e.g. DVD player, onboard NIC, HDD, etc...)

blogger.com blows. I could'nt post a response to your blog using firefox so I had (ugh.) to resort to IE.

Friday, February 17, 2006 2:18:00 PM  
Blogger Stefan Robak said...

Ooooh, a frying pan radio!

"Girl, ya really got me goin', ya goin me goin' so I don't know what I'm doin'...

Friday, February 17, 2006 5:42:00 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

for the record, I would love my handheld system to give me blowjobs

Saturday, February 18, 2006 8:23:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

blogger.com blows. I could'nt post a response to your blog using firefox so I had (ugh.) to resort to IE.

Umm, comments have been posted here before using Firefox. I don't know what to tell you. *shrug*

Sunday, February 19, 2006 11:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Aiden said...

i only use firefox to browse, it's strange that it wouldnt let you post. i blame Jordan.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:03:00 AM  
Anonymous mike said...

maybe you need to have a machine that does nothing but post on blogger

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 5:54:00 PM  

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