Friday, May 18, 2007

A Force-ful Reply

Well, obviously this blog is dead. So, in the interests of generating content for my zero remaining readers, I'm going to share an e-mail exchange I had with Nathan this morning regarding my video game buying habits, since the production values for his reply were high enough that it seems a shame not to share it with the world. In all likelihood, it will sit here as the top post for the next several months.

First, I sent him a brief e-mail message entitled "I'm weak" (edited slightly here to make me look like less of an idiot):

"I first heard about Etrian Odyssey months ago, and at the time I decided, no Jordan, you're not buying it. But now people are saying nice things, and, well, I just sent myself a reminder to pick it up when I go in to buy Odin Sphere."

Everything that follows is his reply:


In the bright lights of the fighter, Luke loads a heavy case into the belly of the ship. Artoo sits on top of the X-wing, settling down into his cubbyhole. Yoda stands nearby on a log.

YODA: Luke! You must complete the games you're playing!

LUKE: I can't keep the screenshots out of my head. They're role playing games. I've got to buy them.

YODA: You must not go!

LUKE: But the game might sell out if I don't.

BEN'S VOICE: You don't know that.

Luke looks toward the voice in amazement. Ben has materialized as a real, slightly shimmering image near Yoda. The power of his presence stops Luke.

BEN: Even Yoda cannot see their fate.

LUKE: But I can buy them! I feel the cash in my wallet!

BEN: But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the dark side of consumerism.

YODA: Yes, yes. To Obi-Wan you listen. Rogue Galaxy. Remember your failure with Rogue Galaxy!

LUKE: But I've learned so much since then. Master Yoda, I promise to return and finish what I've begun. You have my word.

BEN: It is you and your money the companies want. That is why your sense of completion is made to suffer.

LUKE: And that is why I have to go.

BEN: Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader.

LUKE: You won't.

YODA: Stopped they must be. On this depends. Only a fully trained Jedi Knight with the Force as his ally will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path, as Vader did, you will become an agent of evil.

BEN: Patience.

LUKE: And sacrifice Han and Leia?

YODA: If you honor what they fight for...yes!

OK the metaphor kind of breaks down near the end.

Nathan Scott


Anonymous Anonymous (Vintage) said...

Dude. Where have you been?

Friday, July 06, 2007 3:20:00 PM  

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