Thursday, August 03, 2006

License, Registration, and Dignity, Please

And here I thought that I wouldn't have anything to write about this week. As you might infer from this post's title, I was pulled over for speeding this morning. I was running late for work, and was going roughly 100kph in an 80kph zone. I can't even remember the last time that I saw a cop car in my neck of the woods. *grumble* I didn't even think the Fredericton Police Department was supposed to range out that far, as I believe it's the RCMP's jurisdiction. Also, he evidently missed the fellow who passed me not two minutes before going ~120, or else he would have been busy. *grumble* *grumble*

Regardless, he was there, and I was speeding, and as the approaching white car that I was already braking for as a precaution began to resolve itself into a police vehicle, my heart sank. He passed me, and then, a few moments later, he performed a long, slow, leisurely turn, and then began following me. He continued simply following me like that for about a minute-- almost long enough for me to start wondering if the timing of his turn was just coincidental and I wasn't going as fast as I thought I may have been. I don't know if he was just going through some established procedures, such as maybe radioing in what he was doing, but it felt very much like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it.

Just as my steadily increasing dread had begun to subside thanks to my aforementioned doubts, he finally turned on his lights and pulled me over. I scrambled for my license and registration, and then proceeded to wait for at least another full minute, with nothing to alleviate my dread this time. It was at this point that I started to notice all of the traffic driving by, and began to get very uncomfortable as I considered the public spectacle that I was now a part of. I guarantee you that this would finally be the time that people started noticing my license plate. That was all forgotten, though, as the officer finally disembarked and began to approach my vehicle.

He informed that I had been pulled over for speeding, and then asked for my license and registration. He then asked me how long it had been since I had last been pulled over, to which I responded: "Never, that I can recall". I then instantly began kicking myself (figuratively). "That I can recall"!? What in hell is that supposed to mean? The only reasons I can think of that a person might be pulled over and not recall it are ones that present a decidedly undesirable image, which is the last thing that I wanted to do at that moment. Fortunately, he didn't seem to bat an eyelash at my choice of phrase. He paused for a moment, then told me that he was going to let me off with a warning, at which point I instantly deflated with relief. I said something appropriately appreciative, although I can't recall what, and then he returned to his car with my papers.

That kind of threw me for a loop initially, as I wasn't aware that warnings were actually formally written (and, presumably, formally logged and processed). I sat there waiting for him for several more minutes, doing my best to ignore all of the traffic passing by, and failing miserably. I've always questioned the efficacy of warnings as a deterrent, but I'm not sure that I had a proper appreciation for everything that a warning entails. I felt dread before he pulled me over, and humiliation once he did. I sat there feeling utterly bereft of dignity, convinced that every single vehicle that passed was someone who knew me and who was having a laugh at my expense.

For me, that's a more severe punishment than any fine. As most people who know me well could attest to, nothing is more of a deterrent for me than public embarrassment. I've eaten a $15 plate of food that I didn't like instead of the $5 plate of food that I ordered simply to avoid the embarrassment of informing the server of a mistake. Even just attracting undue notice in public for anything, good or bad, is terrifying to me. I still feel a little sick to my stomach hours after this morning's incident-- looks like I'll have to cancel any plans that I may have had of becoming a career criminal.

Finally, he finished his paperwork, got back out of his car, and gave me my warning. I then lamely wished him a nice day, and prepared to leave. However, just as I was about to do this, I noticed that his lights were still on, and realized that I had no idea whether or not I was allowed to leave. I thought he said that I could, but I may have just read that into his actions and tone. I sat there waffling, doing things like putting the car in gear, hesitating, and then putting it back in park, or taking off my seat belt with the intention of getting out of the car and asking him (via pointing to my chest and then pointing down the road with a inquisitive look on my face), and then putting it back on. When I looked in my mirror, it looked as if he was waiting for me to pull away, but I was far from sure. This went on for a couple of minutes, until he finally backed up, shut off his lights, and pulled out around me, but I don't know if he just lost patience with me or if that's how things are supposed to work.

Anyway, the long and short of this all is that a young police officer did his duty by putting the fear of god into me this morning, and I'll likely be driving a little slower than I might have otherwise on my way to Halifax tomorrow afternoon.

35 Comments:

Anonymous Aiden said...

Hehe, i remember this other time a friend of mine was speeding, and a later police officer warned him that if the officer who saw him wasnt in a hurry he would get a speeding ticket, but then again that doesn't apply here.

Thursday, August 03, 2006 10:08:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

Jerk.

Incidentally, I bet your "friend", let's call him "Gordan", is a ruggedly handsome misunderstood genius.

Friday, August 04, 2006 8:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez man! You're not a Jelly fish - are you? There's got to be a back bone in there somewhere. Come on - eating a meal you didn't even order? Couldn't you at least sheepishly say "I don't think I ordered that?". You've got to take life by the horns, dude! I totally understand the nicey, nice with the cop, but the meal? Sheesh.

I can't help but wonder if your room is in the basement under the stairs. What's going on? Why do you feel the need to be a floor mat? You seem to have lots of friends - so, why don't you matter?

Would the gov cover some assertive training courses for you? I'm at a loss as to how you'd get up the nerve to ask for that, though.

Jordan, life's too short, stand up and be counted!

Friday, August 04, 2006 4:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Travis said...

Whether it was intentional or not, telling someone to get a backbone, and then posting those criticisms anonymously strikes me as being a little hypocritical.

Friday, August 04, 2006 4:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Vern said...

GATC: Government Assertive Training Courses. Hahahaha, how hilarious!

Jordan likes to tell his friends that he has no friends.

Monday, August 07, 2006 10:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

That's just being too lazy to fill in a name... not hypocritical. What's a name if you don't know the person anyway. And I AGREE, by the way. I recently started standing up for myself publically a lot more often and the feeling is great. You can't let people walk all over you.

I was at tingleys about a month or so ago and this girl in front of me had some friends show up. So she says "oh, hey guys, thanks for MEETING US HERE" and she looked around to see that people were buying it. And I leaned in and said really loudly "WINK WINK". The girl hid behind the guy she was with and the guy said "maybe we should just go to the back of the line."

The girl didn't... and stood in front of me and complained that I was mean. I told her that the line up there was long enough a wait already without her 4 friends and if she didn't mind waiting she could go to the back. She just grumbled and turned around.

Felt great. Seriously.

Regardless, I find it hypocritical of Jordan to complain about poor driving and irresponsible parents (in general... in previous posts... probably will nit pick the appropriateness of this comparison even though it's totally appropriate) when he, himself, speeds. Being late isn't an excuse. You either follow the rules or you don't, and if your excuse is that you're late then all the excuses of all the other drivers who think they're exempt from things like blinkers or speed limits are valid too. That's just my 2 cents.

Also, on a related note, I once had a friend get caught speeding on Sunset drive... she was going 90 in a 60 zone... she was trying to get to the gas station quickly because she was about to run out of gas. I had told her that was stupid because going faster uses more gas. The officer told her the same thing. I couldn't help but laugh during the whole ordeal.

OH, and I totally don't "recall" the last time I was pulled over in a vehicle, because I was very very drunk (not driving) and my subsequent sickness got my friend out of a ticket! *high five*

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 1:18:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

That's just being too lazy to fill in a name... not hypocritical.
I disagree. Presuming that this is the same anonymous poster that I've had lurking around for several months, and common trends in tone and language would seem to indicate that this is the case (although it's possible that there are two different regular anonymous posters), then he's specifically hiding his identity because he finds it amusing to do so. Also, it has definitely moderated my response, since there's been one or two times that I've been inclined to reply unkindly, but have not done so because, depending upon who he is, it might lend his words context that would make them more or less offensive (there are certain things that I would tolerate from a friend that I might not from someone else) and cause me to grant them more or less respect, and I was uncomfortable making a reply without this knowledge. But then again, you're apparently the final authority on what is or is not hypocritical, so I guess Travis must be wrong. I could disable anonymous posting, but then he could just type in the name "Anonymous", and I'm not about to require my commenters to register and/or log in.

What's a name if you don't know the person anyway.
He's demonstrated at least peripheral knowledge of me, so I suspect that I at least know him well enough to recognize his name, which is why he's withheld it.

Regardless, I find it hypocritical of Jordan to complain about poor driving and irresponsible parents (in general... in previous posts... probably will nit pick the appropriateness of this comparison even though it's totally appropriate) when he, himself, speeds.
Well, far be it for me to "nit pick" when you've already made a proclamation from the throne of Lord Nason that such "nit-picking" will be wrong. Oh wait, you're not the fucking arbiter of truth-- my bad. First off, I have no idea why you even mentioned the parenting post, unless you mean to argue that a person who is irresponsible in a specific instance (which includes, I should think, everyone who ever lived) is not ever allowed to criticize anyone else for being irresponsible about anything else without being hypocritical. As for the other, had you bothered to actually read the driving post that you referenced, as I did, and as I'm sure you didn't, you'd see that I devoted a couple of paragraphs specifically to addressing my own faults in that area, and the idea that those faults might invalidate the rest of what I have to say. And, further on, I detail my own problems that result from road rage and a desire to be punctual.

Being late isn't an excuse.
It's not an excuse, it's a reason. At no point did I make any claim that it justified my actions.

You either follow the rules or you don't
You're absolutely right. I think I'll go ram some houses and run over some pedestrians, since these are apparently the same thing.

[Note: The above is needlessly harsh and confrontational, but Mike always seems to bring out the best in me. For once, he was actually being fairly civil, and I'm the one exacerbating things, but I always find it very... grating when someone presupposes their correctness as part of an argument and declares that any counter-argument is wrong before it is made.]

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 3:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

He's demonstrated at least peripheral knowledge of me, so I suspect that I at least know him well enough to recognize his name, which is why he's withheld it.

That is the most paranoid thing I've ever read. Jordan, this fellow (or dame) posts on your Blog. Anyone who has read your blog knows that you A) Work for the Government, B) Have a number of people who comment on your posts who seem to know you (indicating friends) and C) avoid confrontation or any risk of humiliation at all costs.

It's not like you have to be stalked to know this stuff. If I knew very little about you (which is pretty true until I read your blog), the Blog itself would let me know what I need to know.

People who you don't know are certainly capable of reading your blog. Perhaps this individual found your site browsing something involving gaming and they read your stuff. Maybe they liked your writing and bookmarked it.

I'd also point out, as I've mentioned to Nathan earlier, that I've known people who said that they would haved commented but they saw only the "Blogger" or Anonymous options and said that they didn't want to just be anonymous but didn't want to sign up. No, this individual is not an idiot, he is far from it. You can't just rule out the idea that someone doesn't want to bother putting their name in there. Especially if they don't actually know you anyway.

Seriously... super paranoid.

As for the rest, you are the king of nit picking so don't give me that horseshit. Perhaps you get an idea as to how mindbogglingly annoying it can be.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 5:02:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

That is the most paranoid thing I've ever read.
Uh huh. Look, I'm not going through my comment archive to prove how full of shit you are again, but he spoke in a way that implied at least a passing familiarity, and no more than that (since there was also demonstrable ignorance), and I've had agreement on this from other people.

I've known people who said that they would haved commented but they saw only the "Blogger" or Anonymous options and said that they didn't want to just be anonymous but didn't want to sign up.
I didn't say that he's the only anonymous poster. Just that he's the only one whom I can track a series of comments from, going back for some time. I'm aware that other people also post anonymously, and I usually can identify those comments as at least being distinct from this fellow by what they have to say.

No, this individual is not an idiot, he is far from it.
I was going to say nothing of the sort. Not that that's ever stopped you before.

You can't just rule out the idea that someone doesn't want to bother putting their name in there. Especially if they don't actually know you anyway.
You're right-- I can't. Some people just don't bother. I am fairly convinced that this fellow is not one of them. It's possible that I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

As for the rest, you are the king of nit picking so don't give me that horseshit.
What does that have to do with anything? You weren't nit-picking. You were just baselessly saying whatever bullshit popped into your head in the interests of being a contradictory asshole, as per usual, only this time with the added claim that you couldn't possibly be wrong. Then, when I cut apart what you had to say, you just ignored it ("As for the rest...") and called me annoying.

Perhaps you get an idea as to how mindbogglingly annoying it can be.
Go fuck yourself. There is no person on this Earth more annoying than you. That being said, if you find me so goddamn annoying, please, for the love of fuck, I implore you, just go away. I can't annoy you if you don't read what I have to say in the first place. I strongly suspect that it would make us both much happier. It would certainly be consistent with you what you said here, although I have yet to see anything that indicates that that post was anything other than total bullshit intended to let you get a free shot at me. My blog is intended for the consumption of friends, and the two of us are most certainly not friends. I am aware that it's on the Internet, and, as such, I'll have to deal with random drop-ins, anonymous posters, etc, and I can deal with that, but I find myself unable to deal with you. I have never met anyone with whom I am less able to peacefully coexist, and in the interests of keeping every post that I make from turning into a flame-war and scaring away all of my other readers, I am begging you: please, just go away, and don't come back. You can take whatever moral victory from that begging that you care to.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 9:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

:D

Thursday, August 10, 2006 2:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Interesting.

I'm no Country Pumpkin, but I am basically lazy, so that seems right. I probably am hypocritical because I wish sometimes that I had more of a back bone. Life is a learning experience and I admit that I too do feel better when I stand up to the minor injustices much like Mike has stated in his first response post. Jordan, I thought you might get the same feeling if you stood up sometimes, too - That's all. Nothing I hate worst than getting the wrong meal - that just peeves me off, I can't imagine how you can accept that.

In the past, I hope I haven't written anything too enraging, since my intent has never been to tick you off. I do enjoy reading your bloggy thing. Mostly attracted to the well written word and I have an interest in gaming. Although I have to say, I kind of like the "Adventures of Jordan" stories. You've got a sense of humour that really can make my sides split. I know when I come to your blog that I'm in for a good read.

Being anonymous ensures that people evaluate what I say - not who I am that says it (not a likely reason, but sounds sort of righteous, doesn't it?). Or maybe I'm just shy and I don't want everyone to know what I'm saying incase someone knows me (could be it?). Maybe, I'm not really too keen on spreading my name throughout the internet. Does my current or next employer Google me and find me talking crap on the internet?(more likely). Then again, maybe I'm just too lazy to get an actual account (well, that's really quite probable).
Or maybe I do it just to keep Jordan guessing,... ;-) (now that's amusing!). I would go with "too lazy".

I never realized that I had a trend in tone and language before - and you picked up on it in my few tiny posts. That's cool - it must be very pronounced, then.

Thanks for giving me lots to read today and for letting me hangout.

Friday, August 11, 2006 1:31:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

In the past, I hope I haven't written anything too enraging, since my intent has never been to tick you off.
Well, to be honest, you've never ticked me off. I tried above to articulate precisely how I felt about the whole thing, but I think I failed in that, so let me try again, with a bit less hostility and a bit more clarity, since you've expressed an interest.

You've said things in the past that may have ticked me off, given context. And I find myself entirely unable to reply simply because I don't have that context. Here's an example using some of my other regulars. Suppose that there was a comment that said "Jordan, you're a douche bag!" If that was posted by Mike, I'd probably fly off the handle and insult him in kind. If it was posted by Aiden, I'd probably laugh and reply with something flippant. If it was posted by John... I'd probably insult him too, although a bit more moderately than I might Mike, since it's fun to argue with John. :-P

My point is that I just find it frustrating to not know how to take a comment. Written text is by nature more ambiguous than the spoken word, since it lacks things like inflection and tone (although I try to disambiguate my writing as much as possible in that respect), so I like to get every bit of information I can before choosing a response, and the identity of the person to whom I'm speaking is a high priority bit of information. Where one person might mean something to be malicious, another person might mean the same thing to be funny, and I'm not comfortable replying unless I'm certain of how precisely it was meant to be taken.

So, in summary, you've never pissed me off, but you've frustrated me to no end, and engaged me in trying to figure out who are occasionally (incidentally, I'm at a loss, which is yet another reason that I'm convinced that you're someone who I know at least in passing, but don't know well). Remaining anonymous is your right, and if causing me a bit of occasional frustration amuses you (you'd hardly be the first-- I think that club meets every second Tuesday), then you're welcome to continue to do so. Thanks for reading.

Does my current or next employer Google me and find me talking crap on the internet
Dear lord, I hope not. I often wonder where on the spectrum of "loud idiot" <--> "raving loon" I fall when this blog is taken as a whole. I hope I never have to find out. *crosses fingers*

I never realized that I had a trend in tone and language before - and you picked up on it in my few tiny posts. That's cool - it must be very pronounced, then.
Well, either that, or I'm just as paranoid as Mike says and I got lucky. I'd certainly like to think that I wasn't imagining it, though.

Friday, August 11, 2006 2:31:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

Hehe. Oops. That spectrum I presented above was supposed to have a good side, not two bad sides. I wonder if I my subconscious had anything to do with that mistake?

In any case, then spectrum was intended to be more along the lines of "insightful wordsmith" <--> "raving loon"

Friday, August 11, 2006 2:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous...it's me anonymous...

Do you really think your employer would google your name?

Would they fire your ass for such slander....hahaha....

They just might...they just might!

Friday, August 11, 2006 2:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet Jordan's trying to pull a fast one and pretending to be the anonymous poster himself.

Friday, August 11, 2006 4:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

INTRIGUE!

Friday, August 11, 2006 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

*rubs temples in consternation*

Friday, August 11, 2006 11:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jordan and Other Anonymous,

Other Anonymous, it is nice of you to finally join us, been waiting for your comments. Thanks for sharing.

Jordan, don't you think this is much more fun having more than one person being anonymous?

I tend to agree with "Other Anonymous", if they can't find any other reason to fire you, why not for contents of a Blog?

Oh, and would a company want to hire you knowing that you might air their dirty little secrets? Hmmm,...

What time and on which Tuesday? ha ha.

Monday, August 14, 2006 1:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Ok, well at this point I can assume you're dealing with douchebags.

For one, people don't fire you for blogs. Not unless you ARE revealing secrets but I can't imagine there would be many in the Canadian DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION.

Secondly, you rarely talk about work.

Thirdly, if you boss looks you up in google he probably doesn't do his work in the first place and doesn't care what you say about the office.

The "anonymi" aside, it may be time to remove the "anonymous" tag to avoid having people be so ridiculous on your comment board. It's one thing for me to antagonize, it's wholly another for two idiots (if it's even two... o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o) to be unnecessarily immature.

Monday, August 14, 2006 2:12:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

it may be time to remove the "anonymous" tag
As I said earlier, if I do this, anyone who was still inclined to remain anonymous could simply enter their name as "Anonymous" using the "Other" radio button, and my only other recourse would be to only allow people with accounts to comment, and I'm not doing that.

Monday, August 14, 2006 2:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not true...I'd like to stand out as a unique individual with a unique name like Anonymous Part Deux...

PS: I'm glad Department of Transportation has no dirty secrets....pretty much free reign on terror and acts of vigalanty corporate espionage....what better time to be anonymous(2) too.

Monday, August 14, 2006 2:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never said that Jordan was acting inappropriately by having a blog or that his content is revealing "state" secrets. I think he talked about his chair one time. (I hope you don't get fired over that one) ;-)

But, in general, why couldn't an employer fire you for the contents of a blog? If not for the contents, then what about using company time/equipment to write comments? What if it is only the equipment used at lunch time?

Anyways, I was only saying that maybe I don't feel confortable leaving a name that a potential employer could trace. I just can't imagine why an employer would not take a little look to see what you are all about on the net before you get hired. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just have a complex and think that everyone is out to get me....... ooops, who's there? oh, whew, just my shadow.

Oh, Jordan on another note, maybe you're just a "raving wordsmith."

Monday, August 14, 2006 3:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! I'm an "insightful loon"!!

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:10:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

I'd like to stand out as a unique individual with a unique name like Anonymous Part Deux...
You have the ability to do that now. *looks at "Other" identity radio button*

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous (Vintage) said...

Well now, don't I learn something new every day? Thanks Oracle!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 8:55:00 AM  
Blogger Anonymous (New & Improved) said...

Let's allow Jordan (Oracle) to get back to his Ramblings and related comments and get away from the "Anonymi douche bag" discussion....we aren't going anywhere anytime soon....as history has shown we like a good rant as much as the next person.

PS: Anonymous Vintage(AV)- nice touch--although I have a few years on you ...you were here first...I'll allow it!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 9:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Sweet christ, do ever I hate people.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 9:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous (New & Improved) said...

Mike,
I'm shocked by this revelation.

Your atTITude in these blog comments has totally been flying under the virtual radar.
Based on what I know (read) -- I'm guessing "people" have wronged you all of your victimized life.

You create your own reality!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous (Vintage) said...

Ha ha ha.

I thought the name appropriate - I love a good whine,... errr,... I mean wine. ;-)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Anonymous douchebags can't rile me up. You can be as strategically obnoxious as you like. Knock yourself out.

I'm merely stating that you are both idiots. I hate idiots. Lots of people are idiots. I hate people.

Idiots.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous (New & Improved) said...

Is it just me--or is Mike trying to overcompensate for some sort of SHORT comings?

He comes off as holding it with 4 fingers but upon closer inspection--he's pissing on 3!

:-) Pass the cheese AV!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Oh no! He's talking about my penis!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous (Vintage) said...

I'm going to skip the wiener roast.

I got to thinking about this thread and I thought, gee, you know, Jordan claims to be scared to make a scene, kind of a "Accept-the-pamphlet-and-walk-on-kind-of-guy". But then when I see the comments he wrote to you Mike, you got to be proud. You brought him out of his shell there, Mikey. It's really great of you to act that way to help Jordan out. Mike, not too many people are willing to act like a know-it-all to help a virtual friend out, like that. You're a real people person Mike - a true friend indeed.

I'm not sure, but maybe this blog thing is helping Jordan to stand up for himself. I can only hope this translates into the real world for him so he can at least get the correct meal.

Have you felt more confident lately JB?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous (New & Improved) said...

How P.C. of you AV.

Or maybe stick to the self serve buffets...that's what I do...not only do you get your monies worth...you always get what you want!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:32:00 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

Have you felt more confident lately JB?
My on-line and real-life personalities have always been quite different, and they remain so. I hardly think that I'm alone in being much more bold online than in person.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 12:12:00 PM  

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