Friday, April 21, 2006

Jordan Bramble, Homeowner

It's not what you're thinking. Well, unless you're thinking "Jordan's obsessed with Oblivion lately, and can't afford to buy a house-- I bet this is about that damn game again." Then you'd be spot on. I tried hard to think of something unrelated to Oblivion to talk about, but that's like asking a man who's on fire to talk about something other than what is slowly cooking him. Being on fire tends to focus the mind, you might say. For instance, if I were to ask Mr-On-Fire: "What do you think about those gas prices lately?" his response would like be something along the lines of: "AAAAAAARRRGHH!! FIRE! FIRE! OH GOD IT BURNS! FIRE!" Similarly, if someone were to ask me what I thought of those same gas prices, my response might be: "My horse doesn't need gas. And even if it did, I live just outside the city, no more than a few minutes' walk away from the marketplace, and, when I'm not shopping, I spend most of my remaining time in caves and ruins-- what need would I have for gas? Besides, my Athletics skill just reached the Journeyman mastery level." You know, on second thought, maybe it's not quite the same thing after all.

Still, the point remains-- pretty much any conversation I have these days inevitably turns to the subject of Oblivion, just as pretty much any conversation you have with a man on fire quickly turns to the subject of said fire. However, conversations with the latter tend to end much quicker, whereas conversations with me tend to drag on until the other participant(s) flees in terror. I feel like I've gotten a little off track here, what with all of the fire talk. Suffice it to say, I am on fire, and loving every minute of it. Oh, and in anticipation of possible responses to that: no, that does not mean that I'm flaming. Although I do have a flaming two-handed longsword that I recently scavenged from the corpse of a highwayman who made the unfortunate mistake of demanding that I pay him a fee to cross a public bridge. It's flaming, and it swings both ways. ;-)

In any case, to return to this post's supposed topic-- I am the proud new owner of a nice piece of waterfront property, on the banks of the beautiful Imperial City. Admittedly, it's a bit of a fixer-upper (read: run-down shack), and it's a little too cozy for my tastes (read: small run-down shack), but it's home. I've done what I could with the interior to try and spruce it up a little-- when I first bought it from the Office of Imperial Commerce for the low, low price of 3000 Imperial Septims, the furnishings consisted entirely of a bed in the corner. Now I have a dresser, some cupboards, a dining table, a set of clay dishes and utensils (although I've had my eye on a nice silver set in the marketplace), a couple of chairs (although I rarely have the opportunity to entertain guests, and my only guest thus far wasn't much interested in talking, and can regrettably no longer talk at all), a warm fireplace, and some lovely wall-hangings and paintings. I'd like to have a bookcase as well, in order to display my growing collection, but for the moment I've contented myself with storing my library in a chest in the corner. I'm looking to purchase a summer home in Leyawin at some point-- perhaps some bookcases would be a better fit there.

Although the residents of the Imperial City are generally good people, I can't help but notice a certain unsavory element frequenting the waterfront. Most of my neighbors seem to be rather, umm, rough around the edges, let's say, so I don't socialize with them much, and I keep my door locked when I'm not home. I even had a group of pirates moored not far from my home when I moved in, although they're no longer around after a visit to their ship by myself and a few Imperial guardsman . However, even they are preferable to the local wildlife. The Imperial Legion does their best to keep its citizenry safe, and I applaud their efforts, but they seem a bit more lax in their patrols out here on the waterfront, and I've had to deal with a host of animals on my property. At first, it was only the occasional mudcrab (nasty little things), but since then, I've had to deal with everything from wolves to lions and bears. I even had a troll stumble by once! That was certainly unpleasant.

However, ignoring these issues, I'm quite pleased with my purchase. I'd have a house-warming party, but the place isn't really big enough or properly equipped to entertain a crowd, and I suspect you'd all have trouble finding the place anyway. Still, if anyone wants to visit on an individual basis, I'd be happy to have you. Leave your boots and gauntlets at the door, and don't mind the blood on the floor.


Post a Comment

<< Home